Black As The Ace Of Spades!
I'm sure that's the LEAST of remarks that
your or I have encountered, simply because
we feel at home and (nay, dare I say)
warm and cozy in blacks!

As I've already said (to death) in this site, I don't presume
to speak for the whole Gothic/Goth lifestyle,
culture, sub-culture or sentiment.

I can't for you, and you can't for me.

Neither can folks dressed in pastels
and tweeds and Wranglers, etc.


So....why do they even
give a side-ways turd???

So, think of this more as a fireside discussion
of the whole topic. No great epiphany is
likey to fall from my keyboard :)

Reasons A Person Wears Black:

It might suprise folks who only shop at Penney's,
but black on people is an attactive color :)
Sexy on both men and women...especially ladies *Grrrr!
(don't think so? do you have any idea of the
sheer volume of black nighties that men
buy for their ladies, or ladies wear for their men?)

Also..if you are a little insecure about your body
(and I'm honest enough to say I am)
black is a very comfortable alternative
to many of the clothing styles, also, black is
a constant....never out of style, and trancends fads.

As to why Goths/Gothics gravitate towards black....
Why do priests and nuns.....?
Why do satanists ? (I'm not one, so go ask them)

So..okay, here's my private observation.
An observation of my OWN motivation :)

Going WAY back in time to the earlier formation
of religious sects like the Dominicans and such
(monks and monastarys that is)
It was realized that the choice of clothing
was a visual and emotional aid to their ideal:
~be in the world, but not of it~

It helped seperate them from worldliness.

For me....and possibly you, in the non-monastic world:

It aids me in keeping my focus on myself, the world,
and my place in it. and, it actually
helps me be a more open person to people.
Because I'm aware that the person I'm speaking to
is forced by the lack of distraction, to focus on me.

And, I feel it helps keep me focused on them,
and how I relate to them.

By nature, I'm a caring and compassionate person,
and I like to share humor and smiles.

Maybe that's why I can't get out of the malls
without at least one stranger coming up to me
(the dude all in black)
and asking me for help with something.

Why? When there are people all around?
Ones that don't look "scary".

Is it, maybe, because they can focus on my observable nature better?

If you've seen the photos I took Of Leanna and Aidan,
you may find that answer.

These kids were SUCH fun to spend time with.
And in the photos where we were joking around,
does'nt is just SHINE from them?
You'd not see it that much in "normal" clothes.

You are focused on what eminates from them~
nice sweet natured kind hearted kids!

If we could focus on each other in that regard
we'd be so much better off in this world.

As a little side story, when the kids and I hit Perkins
for breakfast before we went to do the shoot,
it was like Moses parting the sea~
the waitresses were going this and that way, away from us.

And by the time we were done eating and the waitress
had done her bit with coffee refills and all the
waitress thingess that they do, she was
actually enjoying waiting on us.

I think, if you're an ass, a grump, a saint, a sinner,
somber and stoic, or, energetic and fun,
it shines more brightly...from the blackness.

Also, I am one of those 'sappy' types...you know,
the 'old world' romantic types.
I think dark tones, lace, velvet..etc
is attractive as all hell :)

Maybe it's just that, men and women who
have a gothic heart-are drawn to the color.
Like a person who loves roses is drawn
to stop and smell them.

People who realize the romance of shadows, and
want to dwell slightly there :)

People who are IN the world, and yet,
whose hearts and spirit are broader than that,
and cannot be confined to simply
being OF it :)

It is without any real sense or reason,
that non-gothic people get so worked up over
the color you wear, but you can't change that.
What you CAN do, is be a decent and courteous
person to those around you and remove
the prejudice that way.

Being anti-social only validates their suspicions.

So keep in mind, you truly are in control of
how folks will respond to you.
Wearing black or modern Goth or Hot Topic clothing styles
WILL make people focus on you - at first glance-
it's what they see by the second glance
that sets the music for the dance.

Goth/Gothic is NOT defined by clothing.
Let's just get that crap nailed right out!
You don't wear black undies, black P.J.'s, sleep
on black sheets, drive a black car, have a black
house with black walls-carpet-drapes-toilet,
wipe your ass with black toilet paper......
do you see where this is going....?

It's a friggin color...it means what it means to you,
it don't make you WHAT you are.

It can mean a whole lot, or mean really very little.

Personally, I like it because I know right off if I'm
in familiar territory when I walk up to a group
of Goths :) But, I also know people who
love all the same dark whispy things as I do,
and look like a Brooks Brothers promo :)

I'm glad I never discounted them by their clothing,
as they are dark and lovely folks and have enriched my
appreciation of the Gothic ever so much more :)

Before I close this,
I hope you'll hit the main story page
and click the gothic-heart spot.

ON THE TOPIC OF CLOTHING
I want to add a remark about Youth versus Age!

Younger folks, Techno-goth, whatever~
Have, by being young, license to experiment all they want.
Bold-spikey-neon purple hair, whatever...
For myself, I love to see them all decked
out and showing off their plumes and such
...it's called being young folks!
It's normal...natural...it's youth :)
Enjoy seeing them full of life and fun and expressive.....

...and stop this petty jealous behavior!

I'm writing this in 2005 at the age of 45 years,
and I see goths older than me, trying to out-do the kids.
WAKE UP CALL TIME!
Once you hit 40...gravity is a eternal fact.
Your body knows it, but for many of us older goth-types
it seems our brains missed the memo!

Keep a young mind and heart and be good decent friends
to the yonger crowd all you can, but don't dishonor their right to youth
by trying to dress and act 15-20 years old.

You make the whole thing a public joke, and crap does roll downhill
and land on their backs.

Go towards that last good-night with dingity and grace,
not denial and childishness.
Be respectful of it being their time and
do nothing to cast scorn on it.

Be an parent-friend-example.

Be the adult they can ask things of,
because you lived where they once did :)
Maintain your gothic heart - with dignity and grace :)